Last Goodbye
by heyitsangelynk
Summary: What happened after midnight, after they both said "I love you". My first songfic inspired by the song 'Goodbye' by Avril Lavigne.


Inspired by the song 'Goodbye', sung by Avril Lavigne.

This song always makes me cry! And it's so appropriate for Seddie because Freddie has brown eyes, haha. I hope you enjoy it! :)

.com/watch?v=MNzTG0RC3UI

* * *

**Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, my love  
**

I walked away from the elevator, with Freddie still there. I could feel his eyes on me, his warm, soft brown eyes. The eyes that told me everything, that could hide nothing. The eyes that I hated once, but also the eyes I fell in love with. Yes, I told Freddie I loved him, something I never said to him before.

But I meant it.

**I can't hide, can't hide, can't hide what has come.**

We knew this would never last; they say love-hate never works out. Carly said it was better not to force ourselves into a boy-girl relationship, and even though I knew she wasn't referring to us, we both knew that we were doing exactly what she was saying, however much we tried to internally deny it.

The worst thing was that we saw it coming, we both did.

**I have to go, I have to go, I have to go,  
And leave you alone  
**

A tear fell down my cheek. Soon, the streams washed out my make-up, staining my carmine-red shirt. Our colours red and blue; now tainted with darkness and depression. My pace quickened as I walked as fast as I could with the heels. I never wore them before, since I started going out with Freddie they made me look better, or at least feel better. Like I was a better girlfriend. Like I could cover up my short-comings with make-up, perfume and dressy clothes. Like he would prefer the newer, girlier, more aesthetically perfect Sam.

I'm sorry Freddie, I never wanted to leave.

**But always know, always know, always know  
That I love you so, I love you so, I love you so  
**

I liked you a few years back, back when we were still young and immature. Carly had no clue, and I noticed that neither did you. I protected myself, covering up my feelings and emotions with rash and abrasive actions. No one knew, not even Carly, about my soft side. I guess I never got over that first kiss. It was special, really magical. I'll have to admit, you're a good kisser for a nub.

Freddie, I've loved you since then. I love you, you know that, don't you?

**Goodbye, brown eyes**

Hearing the elevator door close as I turned the corner, I covered my mouth with a hand to stop myself from sobbing aloud. I never cry in public, the reputation had to be kept. I do cry alone in my room though, something I tell only Carly. And you. You were there with me once, an arm around me and armed with a Fatcake that I never ate, telling me that you would protect me, no matter what.

Oh Freddie, I could never fall in love with another pair of brown eyes the way I fell in love with yours. They were so tender, so reassuring. It was mutual. Our love was mutual, and that's all I really needed to know.

**Goodbye for now**

Please be less normal, for me? We could get back together, like, now. I never wanted a break up.

I stood leaning with my back against the wall. Slowly, I slipped down to the floor, the heels twisted my ankles. This reminded me of the time at the lock-in, I was feeling bummed as ever, my emotions in a chaotic mess. Then you came and made everything better. And there and then I went for it; I kissed you.

I'll come running back to your open arms, you could pick me up, and we could live happily ever after. Forever.

**Goodbye, sunshine**

You're my sunshine, my one and only sunshine. I miss your optimism, your laughter, your smile, that smirk, and the silly nubby jokes that you'd crack just to cheer me up.

I put my head in my hands and cried aloud, not caring what people thought anymore.

I need you now, Freddie. I need you, as my best friend.

**Take care of yourself.  
**

I stared up at the ceiling, the paint was peeling at the corners of the intricate lacy designs. It was torn. Torn apart, just like my heart. I tilted my head back, hoping gravity would let my tears settle in my eyes.

Freddie, if you do find someone new, I hope she is better than me. I hope that she deserves you. Don't be like me baby, don't be too sad. Remember to be just like how you were before, Freddie. Be the Freddie Benson I used to know.

Do take care of yourself.

**I have to go, I have to go, I have to go  
And leave you alone**

Maybe we were never meant to be, I kept telling myself. That I never deserved your love, your warmth, your kindness. Maybe it was karma for all those years I didn't treat you well. Maybe things would get better when we get over this. Maybe we could go back to being friends; best friends. You and me. With no feelings whatsoever, I didn't feel those butterflies when you were around and my heart wouldn't skip a beat. Maybe, Freddie.

Maybe I'll forget about everything as time passes.

**But always know, always know, always know  
That I love you so, I love you so, oh.  
I love you so.  
**

But there, I said it. You're the first guy I ever had a huge crush on. The guy who stole my first kiss. You stole my heart. You're the only guy I loved.

**La-lullaby, distract me with your eyes.  
La-lullaby.**

**La-lullaby, help me sleep tonight.**

I'll miss all those times we spent at the fire escape together, the late night kisses and birthday wishes. How you'd make me stay up with you all night, letting me eventually fall asleep in your arms. I recall how good it felt to be in your arms; in your warm embrace. The way you would play with my hair, how you let me tug your shirt. I'll never get over how you smell, the detergent covering up your sweet vanilla scent. Nobody ever made me feel the way you did.

**La lullaby (la lullaby, la lullaby)  
I have to go, I have to go, I have to go  
And leave you alone  
But always know, always know, always know**

**That I love you so, I love you so  
**

Never forget, Freddie. I won't ever forget. I can't believe I fell for you.

You were the guy who watched episodes of Galaxy Wars over and over again. I was the girl who never got sick of Boogie Bear. You were the guy whose mother hated germs and went to church. I was the girl who practically lived in a dump with my drunkard of a mother. You were the guy who scored straight-As, be it Math, History or Advanced Calculus. I was the girl who barely managed to pass Phys. Ed.

Sorry for all those years that I picked on you. You've forgotten it all, haven't you? Tell me, baby. I need the reassurance. I need your reassurance.

Forcing off the buckles of my heels, I damaged the leather, the Sam Puckett way. Free, once again. I was a free woman! Single, and unhappy. I ran, I ran to a place very familiar. A place very important. A place very nostalgic. Please be there, Freddie. Be there, already waiting for me, and catch me in your arms to take me back.

I ran to the place where it all began – our fire escape.

**(Goodbye)  
(Lullaby)  
I love you so  
(Goodbye)  
(Lullaby)  
I love you so  
(Goodbye)  
(Lullaby)  
I love you so  
(Goodbye)  
(Lullaby)**

Jumping over the ledge, I landed on the balcony, the cool wind breeze of Seattle night air hit me like a wave. My hair blew around me, gently. I caught my breath. This was how it smelt all this while, the very first day we were here alone. The scene of you smiling at me at our first kisses made something click in my head. My feelings for you never changed. Our fire escape never changed.

**I love you so  
I love you so  
**

My tears dried as I sat on the ledge I kissed you 3 years back. The city seemed so serene, so right. It was a perfect day. Freddie, where are you?

1 a.m., it's been an hour. I sat shoulders sagged and eyebrows knitted, alone.

**Goodbye, brown eyes  
Goodbye my love**

I guess you weren't going to come. Freddie, you are forever in my heart.

I love you.

* * *

**How was it? I realised it was getting kinda draggy in the middle :/**

**I also don't normally do sad endings but I decided to try it out here!**

**If you enjoy happy endings, you should read 'Jathan', a story that I wrote for Jennette/Nathan ship. The link is in my profile.**

**'iFirst Met You is also another Seddie story that I wrote, do check it out!**

**Thanks for reading and please review, I'll love you! :)**


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